Why quit?

Why quit? It's a noble job. You can now put the title 'Dr.' in front of your name. The pay is good. The job's secure. There are no risks. Everyone respects you.

Well, you see, I never had the intention to become a doctor in the first place. I got 8A1s in my SPM. You know what are the subjects that I didn't get an A1? Bahasa Melayu, Pendidikan Islam, and Biology. Now wasn't that quite obvious that anything related to living things and the human body is not of my interest? I got a freaking A1 for Sejarah, the most boring subject known to mankind (at least to me), but I didn't manage to score in Biology. Now doesn't that show just how much I hate Biology? My real passion is cars, and I wanna do something that's related to the automotive industry (not a car salesman though). So why did I become a HO in the first place?

Well, I got good results in my high school exam, and also in my matriculation college, and I was young and unsure of what to do, and my parents were pushing me to do medicine. And it's not just my parents, everyone else practically had the same thought. They all had the impression that if you have good grades, then you must become a doctor. Other jobs are rubbish. Other jobs will get you nowhere. Other jobs wont make you rich. Other jobs are full of corrupt people. Other jobs you will be treated like shit. Only doctors can get a decent salary. Only doctors have the most noble job in the world. Only doctors are respected.
Those whose parents or siblings are doctors, they will say "Your mom and I are doctors, even your brother is a doctor, therefore you must become a doctor too!"
And those whose family member aren't doctors, they will say "We never had a doctor in our family. Therefore you must become one and make our family proud!".

If you don't take up medicine, then you will be shunned by your family. Your parents, your grandma, your neighbors, your aunt who never gave a shit about you, your cousin who never spoke a word to you, all of them will say "He got such good grades, why didn't he take up medicine? It's such a waste. He's a shame to his family. He's making a mistake. He's gonna regret it. What was he thinking?"

You see what's wrong with people nowadays?

I know it's a bit too late for me, since I already finished medical school, and I've worked as a houseman for 7 months. But it's better late than never. I definitely do not want to spend the rest of my life doing something that I absolutely loathe every single day.

Anyway, you guys might be thinking, why didn't I quit when I was in medical school?
Let me explain. You see, medical school is like a quicksand. From a distance, it looks safe. It looks harmless. You thought "I definitely could make it through even though I'm not really interested to cross that sandy area. What's the worst that could happen? Might as well give it a try."
So you step into the quicksand, and you slowly started sinking. By this time, your thoughts would be something like "Oh dear, this sand is a bit too soft. It's quite difficult to walk in this sand. But I think I can manage."
So you keep on going until the sand is up to your waist, and you're halfway across the quicksand. And now you're thinking "Shit, I'm in deep trouble now. But I've already made it halfway through. No point turning back now. I must go on."
And eventually the sand is up to your neck, by which time you're thinking "Fuck, I'm gonna die. I never should have stepped into the quicksand in the first place. But there's nothing I can do now."
So by the time you realize that you've made the biggest mistake of your life, you're already engulfed by the quicksand.

And it's the same story with everyone around you. Whenever you want to quit, they'll say "Come on, you've just started your first year! You should at least give it a try! You might like it after you get used to it!"
And then "You're already in your second year! Next year will be the clinical years! You cant give up now! Maybe theory isn't your thing, but you might like the clinical years!"
And then "You're halfway through! You can't give up now! You already spent 3 years here. All of those years will be a waste if you quit!"
And then "It's already the final year! You can't quit now! At least finish your exam and get your degree first! You've come this far, you must go on!"
And then "You already got your degree. At least give housemanship a try. Don't just give up. You should at least try first!"
And then "You can't quit your housemanship! At least finish these 2 years and get your full license to practice!"
And then what? "You can't quit now! You've come this far! All of your efforts will go to waste! You already got your full license to practice, so now you must get a Masters degree and specialize in something!"
It's a never ending process. No one will support you when you want to quit. No time seems to be the right time for you to quit. Everyone would just tell you to keep holding on. If I really wanna hear those words, I would've just played Avril Lavigne's "Keep Holding On" repeatedly on my mp3. At least she sounds like an angel.

And here's my favourite part (by 'favourite', I mean the one I hate the most):
"Everyone else can do it, so can you!"
So what? If everyone is a rapist, so I should become one too? Not that I mind, but you get what I mean.

Anyway, I hope that explains why I wanna quit my job now. It might seem too late, it might seem like waste, but it's definitely what I want to do.
I'm not gonna tell you guys the stresses of being a HO that made me wanna quit, cos I'm pretty sure you guys have experienced it yourself. For the HOs at least. And other houseman blogs out there have already elaborated the stresses of being a HO in detail, so look 'em up.